I can’t believe everything that I’ve gone through. Especially within the past half decade. I had a best friend turn into an Earth Angel after saving her ex’s life. I had ended up dating a flurry of men in a vested effort to find my own sense of self, and ended up helping 3 men who all happened to have issues with their sexual behaviours. One of them had a sexual addiction, one of them experienced delayed ejaculation, and another one had erectile dysfunction. This led the good energies around me and superpowers to grant me the freedom and capability to become an angel on the other side, helping those with sexual dysfunction issues manage in this crazy and chaotic world. This was something that was a persistent theme of mine throughout the past half decade, and I had my clues and signs that I was racking up my karma points in order to earn a vested role that earned its dignity and honor. I even questioned how I would fit in this role as a sexual healer, as I had gone through my sexual trauma issues myself as a young teenager. It was never the best topic for me to bring up and dwell on, yet I knew it was an act that the primitive animal within us all couldn’t escape and must tend to. It almosts become subconscious, this sexual drive. I could see how this was especially apparent perhaps when I was a preteen entering the early phases of puberty, but my experiences with it dissipated over the years too as my sex drive dwindled and I learned to detach myself from that primitive urge as an asexual. This was due to my seizures over the years that helped lower my sex drive.
I must admit, finding the perfect partner was probably a soul motive for me that was unconsciously playing out in my subconscious mind. I saw several personal planets clumped together in the 7th house of my astrological natal chart, which indicated that I held a strong focus towards relationships and romance. I had a psychic mention to me that prior to my most recent past life as a soldier in 18th century Taiwan named Luka, I was a housewife who bore 5 children and stuck it out with an extremely abusive and demanding husband. I probably came into this lifetime with a soul plan to explore men a little more, it would perhaps help me get over the trauma I experienced with the abusive husand 2 lifetimes ago. I didn’t get a chance to make up for it as a soldier fighting men in the battlefield, so I should get over this unprocessed emotional trauma in the new millennium perhaps, when the world will come to an end in and of itself.
Inadvertently, I ended up dating a slew of men one after the other. I am sure they were meant to caress my soul into welcoming the opposite sex a bit more and help me become less distrustful of them. I am a virgo as well, so I have my servant like duties that help cater to others’ needs and demands. Some of these men just so happened to be those with sexual issues, and it was the equivalent to saving a life with each one of them.
The first one happened to be a soul family member that I bumped into at the TRL. He had approached me first and asked me if I needed help with directions as to where to head within the reference library. I kept his gesture in mind, and noticed that he was an illustrator. I also happened to be working on an ESL app at that time too, and kept his contact in mind in case I needed to approach him for help with my ESL app illustrations. We got to know each other pretty well, and kept in touch with one another even despite all the sexual partners we both had. He had a habit of going for cute little asian girls. He had dated a total of over 50 asian women. My number didn’t come quite as close, but I had my focus and energy on men too. They were all eccentric and strange. He had a sexual addiction and really enjoyed the tight vaginal opening that asian girls had, especially mine, as it seemed like the perfect physical fit. I on the other hand, had my dating and sexual partners who all stood out in their own unique ways.
We both liked to share stories about our sexual encounters with our partners, as we both listened in and nodded in response to listening to some of the telltale ventures we went through. I didn’t become jealous of his encounters with his partners, as I knew we both held that soul connection. As my seizures increased over the years, my sex drive also decreased, and I understood that he had his sexual drive that gave him that motivation to hit on girls left and right. I joked that having that amount of testosterone ingrained in oneself was like having a pet dog attached to your lower part of your body. You have to feed it and tend to it quite a bit before you yourself can get settled. That is how I saw his situation. Meanwhile, my lack of a sex drive helped me to analyze the partners I had more clearly without the emotional clusters to get in the way.
My other sexual partner that I helped pick up the pieces was the one with an erectile dysfunction. It became the doom theme for him, as it took a toll on how he viewed sex as an act in general. Being prior obsessed with sex and jerking off to porn quite a bit, he held this habit of jerking off to porn at least 1 hour per day to the most extravagant scenes. His penis kept score and took note of the more elaborate sex scenes. After years of repeating this pattern, the simple act of having sex with a female partner became harder, as his dick could not become erect as easily as during his early twenties. He was a middle aged man now whose pet dog needed more interesting treats in order to get it going. He started to hate sex and resent it, seeing all that he went through with this erectile dysfunction saga. I told him I was asexual, so that helped take the load off his shoulders in terms of expectations and standards. I really couldn’t care less about sex, but I still cared for him as a person, so I gave in and had sex with him during those horny times. I remember a road trip that we went on. It was one where we traveled by car over a few provinces. We ended up staying at a bed and breakfast for a few nights during our journey. The first night we stayed at a bed and breakfast, we both stripped bare for one another, and went down to the nitty gritty of our sexual act. During this act, I could feel the sexual tension and energy that he had tried so hard to suppress pour out of him, as he moaned and groaned for 30 min straight. It appeared like it was the best sex of his life. I knew that energetic forces were behind and at play with this, as he seemed like he had just shouted at the top of his lungs for 10 min, and let go and released what had built up inside of him for so long. At the end of our session, he happened to make the comment, “you’re an angel,” which was a psychic prediction of where I was headed with this fate of bringing certain healing energies to sexual foreplay and behaviour.
It wasn’t until I had eventually given in to my third partner with a sexual dysfunction that I knew this was the path of where I was headed. Ironically enough, he just so happened to be the 16 year old that I tutored for a few years. I was tutoring him twice a week for 3 years, and he approached me one day to ask me whether I wanted to have sex with him for a couple hundred dollars. I didn’t turn him down, and I obviously kept this a secret from his mother. I invited him over to my place in order to engage in this act. He had had one other sexual partner prior to me, but she wasn’t so satisfied with him. He was shy and introverted, unlike my sex addict friend with the tons of asian female partners. He told me about his failure with getting responses on online dating apps, which is a common occurence for males. I felt a lot of empathy for him, so I let him have sex with me for a couple hundred bucks. I remember having worked at a massage parlor before jerking off middle aged men, this teenage boy was nothing really.
What happened when he came by for our session was interesting. His penis was small, and it was in no way as large as the guy with the erectile dysfunction. Despite this, he took longer than usual. After having inserted this body part into my body and caressing it slowly, bit by bit, time seemed to have passed on quite a bit. I let this continue for 20 min. He couldn’t cum. He had delayed ejaculation issues. When he offered me money for sex a few more times, I accepted, as I was in a grind to make a bit of money and help him get over his esteem issues with finishing.
It wasn’t until the third invitation and offer that I relaxed and let loose with him over our endeavour. I usually kept a few condoms in my cabinet next to my bed. I ran out of them but it didn’t bother me. I told him to start his action by getting his dick erect, and then start thrusting slowly. It was a long session, and he surprisingly came this time, unlike the previous attempt. I didn’t pay mind to that particular sexual session, as I was glad he actually finished. What surprised and shocked me a few weeks later was finding out he had actually impregnated me with his naked unwrapped penis. “What?! I’m pregnant? You have got to be kidding me!!” I shouted to my sex addict friend after hearing the news. My period was late. I visited a gynecologist and took a pregnancy test. I had tested positive. I was in no way equipped to handle bearing forth an actual infant from my female uterus at this time in my life. It wasn’t the right time for me in a financial sense, social sense, or personal sense. I was living paycheck to paycheck tutoring. The kid’s mother would have sued me for having molested his son. Having a child was the last thing on my mind given all the circumstances I was surrounded with.
This was something I carried forward and had to deal with. I eventually got an abortion to handle my matter. I told the kid about it and still let him have sex with me for money a few more times, only with condoms, of course. Interestingly enough, I still felt empathy for him and felt sorry for his circumstance. “Maybe it was a good thing that you impregnated me. I hope you aren’t still going through your woes over finding a female sexual partner to handle you,” I commented, patting him on his shoulder after we had a sex session with a condom on this time. He replied back stating that, “I don’t feel that out of luck and bad anymore.” He had improved his esteem issues in this territory thankfully, probably out of impregnating me. It was a matter of energetic force that sort of let this manipulate and reconstruct his attitudes towards his sexual performance.
As I could tell, I probably did my part in helping males overcome their sexual issues as well. This was something that I just so happened to stumble upon after having gone through my flurry of men that was instilled in me in my soul contract plan. I just so inadvertently happened to help a male with sexual addiction issues, a male with erectile dysfunction issues, as well as a male with delayed ejaculation issues. It wasn’t necessarily a part of my soul contract. However, having a best friend who just so happened to kill herself and cross over to the other side and work as an angel in heaven, she thought it would only be fair if I became one as well with all the good I’ve done in this lifetime as a lightworker. I was meant to reincarnate in this lifetime as a wise one with too many lifetimes to count. My mission was to teach “love” and help others overcome their obstacles with this especially in this generation. My life theme was knowledge. I was meant to overcome some of my past life trauma, be it from post traumatic stress disorder as a soldier from a recent life, or as a burnt out wife tired of men and relationships. This all played out in my current lifetiime. I had Elissa from the other side text me one day not too long ago mentioning, “you won’t believe what you’ve become!” hinting at my new upcoming role as an angel of some sort. This makes sense, given the focus and energies I’ve placed my healing on. I racked up my karma points and used it for my own good to help men with sexual issues. The hierarchical angels just so happened to notice this, and have decided to reward me with a new position when it’s time for me to cross over to the other side.
Bibl3.0 