Bibl3.0

Think(air). Feel(water). Act(earth). Be(fire).

It’s as simple as that when it comes to manifestation. Those are the 4 golden must have steps when it comes to ACHIEVING ANYTHING you want. It follows the astrological principles of having enough of a bit of everything of the 4 elements, in order to really achieve balance and create and manifest things in your life that you really put your mind to. Don’t get me wrong, there are different steps as to how to get to the fucking place you want to be at. You don’t sit in a dark room and stare intensely at a lit flame and pray that you’ll be the president of America a week from now. It doesn’t work like that. That’s why everyone needs to understand why having enough of a bit of everything will help you along the way. What I can’t stand are the business mogul CEOs who tout that you can make money FAST in 10 days or that you can get and manifest what you want simply by pretending to BE that version of you that is living a lavish lifestyle on the beaches of Monaco, because you are pretending to run a successful company making millions per year.

I myself am in the achievement phase in my life again, where I have plans to finish an ESL app before the apocalypse hits, perhaps. It’s giving me a nice drive to get my butt moving and place a little more optimism before the shit hits the fan. When I sit back and reflect back on what I have achieved in my life, I realize that I have done a few things that a lot of people would gasp at and wonder how on earth I was able to do what I did. How did I accomplish that feat? I have started my own entrepreneurial business all on my own while living on welfare and government benefits. I have literally written a novel all on my own. And now I’m going to create an app all on my own. Well, I may have used a few friends to help me with a few tasks here and there. The financial investment placed among all of these (including the business) was all under 5k though. I know I should be writing a book about the major tricks for business success, but I’ll save that for another day (this is just a spirituality blog, after all).

I will use the example of how I touted all 4 elements of existence (thought, emotion, action, and being) in order to create my own 1 woman business. This is a more complex system in order to gain achievement. I mean, I am not sitting in front of my desk, looking at a banana, feeling hungry, thinking that I should grab it, using my human arms and hands to reach for it, and finally, grasping it with my firm hands and chewing on it right after I peel off the layers. As human beings living in the new millennium, we have built beyond complex systems sometimes for achievement, and this does include starting a motherfucking business.

When it comes to thinking, thought, and ideas, it belongs to the 3 astrological signs aquarius, libra, and gemini. They are the signs that like to sit on top of a mountain like old sages, and ponder about things to no end. I give credit to aquarius for being the quirky and eccentric ones that can come up with really wacky ideas and theories. They can really see things from a humanitarian perspective, so they see the whole picture at times to really understand how things work together and work around things. I am blessed to have a bit of that in my chart with my rising sign.

My insight on things can get pretty intense and groundbreaking at times when I do sit down and think about things in a way that no one else does. I am an intellectual person. I remember one day working at Dollar Tree as an assistant manager, trudging my way through the aisles of the store, front facing all the items. In the meanwhile, I was also playing the role of a cashier as well, running towards the register whenever I had a buyer carrying items in their hand wave for my attention. There was usually only one other coworker on that shift who mainly had roles of being the cashier but took over front facing the aisles as well. I was tired and exhausted of playing the role of 4 other assigned roles, taking over most of the duties. This was when it hit me though. I realized that at the end of the day, business and maintaining a business was all based on the concept of the systematization of people. I was THINKING this. I had always wondered to myself, how on earth could a successful business chain like Dollar Tree have been able to sell their items for 1.50 a piece? Then I realized most of a business’ expenses were devoted to paying the 7 different workers with their 7 specialized tasks their biweekly paycheck. In the most generalized sense, business is revenue offset by working expenses. I only learned this brilliant idea after witnessing the pattern in this scenario compared to my 20 other jobs prior to this.

Regardless, I was glad to have grasped an interesting idea and insight that stuck in the back of my mind for a while. It wasn’t until I was working my 3 year stint as a tutor to this kind kid on my 30th literal job that I actually felt some emotion about wanting to start my own business. I am a big fan of cognitive science. I like reading up on different ways to learn and how the human mind actually learns in all these interesting ways.

One day, I remember randomly asking the kid I was tutoring to circle the whole algebraic problem in order to solve it. He was getting 50s in his gr 10 algebra course. He followed my instructions, and funnily enough, he was able to easily solve his problems by circling them and figuring it out then. His average in gr 10 math went from C to A. He had actually used a method in cognitive science called “chunking”, placing two items together as one and seeing it as one. It turned out that his ADHD was actually a result of the fact that he had cognitive shifting problems. By using complementary cognitive methods, he was able to see a literal algebraic problem in a different light and solve it. I thought to myself, this is a brilliant way to inspire educational teachers in IEP programs and worried mothers over their autistic sons to take the initiative to soothe any tensions they may have over their children’s learning difficulties and obstacles in life. More so though, it inspired me to develop some passion in order to want to have something accomplished. This is where the emotion, the FEELING came in. Water signs such as pisces, cancer, and scorpio all feel to no end. I give credit to scorpio for being the most intense about this.

I myself have a tumor in my brain that gives me seizures. I have interesting cognitive abilities and weaknesses, and I always studied up on the subject of cognitive abilities to sort of understand where my strengths and weaknesses came from. I learned that I am a mainly left-brained person, as I actually flunk most non verbal cognitive tests. I know that the location of where my tumor lies gives me great creative problem solving skills, yet I make for a terrible driver. I can sit down and write scientific papers and essays to no end, yet I remember not even lasting a week at McDonald’s. KFC fired me after a month. This is where my personal experience of cognitive difficulties and abilities gave me some sort of emotional boost to want to even start a business relating to something I’ve witnessed myself and felt strongly about. I felt strongly about being able to change that kid’s grades, because he was in every other way not cognitively inadept, it was only his cognitive shifting abilities that got him stuck with his learning abilities. When he did his cognitive testing, he only had 1 feat in this area. He was completely adept in other ways of learning.

To feel the passion to want to create something and achieve something for others is what motivates anyone to do what they do. I never thought that I would ever start a business. It was never in my mind prior because it wasn’t an emotional priority. When emotions get in the way though, that’s the trigger that lights the spark. Everyone has thoughts flowing in and out of their head. To actually want to do something with these thoughts emotionally takes passion and a desire.

Now that one has some sort of emotional attachment to attaining something, the acting part is where it gets messy and blurred. A lot of salesmen and gurus stating that they know the optimal results to everything always dismiss this, only because it gets complex in itself and can be broken down into 10 million different pieces if needs be. What is absolutely true though is that there has to be STEPS. That is an ultimate truth to any sort of attainment. The best way to doing this is to take the RIGHT STEPS. This is the proper way of ACTING.

I thought to myself, I know that businesses can get complex. They seem to spend billions upon billions of dollars in expenses and also make billions and billions of revenue and sales at the same time. Do I want that kind of system for where I am right now? How long will it take me to get there? Then I remembered, wait. Businesses follow the simpest system of systematizing people. You can read the book called The Messy Middle or Bullshit Jobs to get a glimpse of how our economy and job professions have only grown more advanced and convoluted in order to serve growing populations. It in no way dictates that the 2nd manager in command, the quality data analyst, or the search engine optimal expert are all essential in order to start any business. You must have a product or service. You must have a user that wants to buy that product or service. Those are the 2 grounding principles that will follow you anywhere you go.

When it comes to acting, the earth signs taurus, capricorn, and virgo take center stage. I am blessed with a very earthly grounding, as I have all my personal planets in virgo. Virgo is the one that is extremely practical and logical, and knows what to do, when, and where. It doesn’t beat around the bushes when it comes to getting things done in a logical way. I won’t lie. I wouldn’t have been able to get to where I have and use what I had without certain work arounds. They weren’t conventional steps, but they were steps nonetheless. For me, it was about cutting out the wrong steps, and taking as few steps as possible. That is the way to gain ultimate achievement.

I would do most of it myself though to save myself the extra step and resource. Did I need an accountant when I have quickbooks? Did I need to purchase a domain name and subscribe to it monthly to pay off the extra fees? Did I need to hire a web developer when I could use wordpress to create my own webpage? Did I need a regular office, or could I use a stand in one as needed if needs be? I was conducting in-home tutoring after all. Another trick I learned from any company’s balance sheet is that office expenses take up the majority of the expenses, following suit after employee payments. I’ll admit, I needed a programmer in order to help me with creating my database network. Aside from that though, I did it all myself. I used the right steps to get to what I want. I looked at what the essentials were for any business. This includes a webpage, business card, some social media presence, employees and someone overseeing everything with administration. I cut out a lot of the “acting”, namely because it was unnecessary.

The last step is BEING. You believe you have what’s right in front of you. This is where the fire signs sagittarius, aries, and leo take their role. I would say that these fire signs can be very confident and assertive, they know what they want and they are sure that it already exists. Sometimes almost to a delusional manner where it doesn’t match up with the certain circumstances of what is physically right in front of them. They are drawing in energy though, and a lot of it is positive. However, you can’t be sitting in that forest in Kenya surrounding you so sure that the next week you will be president of the United States. Where’s the votes? Where are the actual people? I’m sure the trees are feeling your warm energy and swaying to your tune though. Leo is the sign that is the most confident, and delusional at the same time.

My investment in this ended up being less than 5k. I was not willing to put any more money into this due to what I had around me, my resources. I am not Elon Musk after all. The act of applying and acting has to be done with the right resources. No gurus or salesmen ever really mention this. This is because they only focus on 1. brilliant idea 2. wanting and passion, and 4. being. It’s as though you already are it (even though you literally are not). Acting and applying is varied in itself, but at least it does follow the same principles of a. steps, b. right steps, and c. resources. It’s as simple as that. Most people are either too up the clouds with their thoughts philosophizing and theorizing everything, too busy brooding over what they want so much that they’d cry over it, or perhaps already thinking they are it in a delusional manner(and cutting out what is actually right in front of you with reality).

ACHIEVING is when you can see, hear, taste, smell, touch something in front of you. I have my own small business, run fully on my own in front of my own eyes. I have the business card and the website to show for it. I have the evidence of it. I BElieve this. I manipulated my own environment to get to this point with the right steps and right action. Learn this messy middle, because it takes time and effort, but that is the crux of where potential actually gets overturned into an essential existing concept.

The question is not “if” but “when”.

Keep that in mind. It is just nearing the end of 2023, and every single day this year, we can’t go a day without hearing a piece of news item that just contributes a little bit more to the growing bubble that is the preplanning for the war. It’s like everyone is taking their extra sip of alcohol at a bar, bit by bit, and eyeing each other, waiting for the first person to make the first move that would sort of dictate that it is okay for them to go ahead and make their move and participate in the ultimate bar fight.

Didn’t Korea just sign an agreement with Russia? Iran just fired a few missiles on U.S land. I’ve been caught up in the last year or so watching these youtube clips that have been mentally preparing me for when this will all go down. Their clickbait titles make it hard to discern which clips actually indicate the true events that are part of this historic timeline of war preparation, and which ones are just fodder. Putin didn’t show up to a meeting because he was sick? “The shit’s goiiing down!!!” (labelled one youtube clip).

I will try to offer my perspective on this as Luka, my recent past life incarnation as a wounded soldier. I am still going through suppressed complex post traumatic stress disorder, so I’m sure the news has caught my interest because of all this. I started waking up and watching these prepping channels that would talk about the economic, military, and psychological consequences that a world war would bring about. Ever since Russia started attacking Ukraine, I couldn’t help but keep myself attached to the youtube screen eyeing these repetitive videos about how one small incident would do it. This brought out that soldier mentality in me that I try to suppress so often, it was as though Luka the soldier was just begging to come out of me, begging for my attention. I had to prepare for the worst mentally.

I started talking to my friends about this in detail about how to prepare for all this chaos and disaster in the days to come. It became a regular piece of conversation for me. Little did I know, it was adding to that part of myself that was preparing for the ultimate, tumultuous future that one could not even fathom. I wasn’t happy here living on earth knowing that the destruction of humanity was evident. World War 3 was all just a part of the whole whirlwind of the coming apocalypse.

I do know that there will be an ultimate sort of world war 3 that is inevitable. There will be a point at which it will be a little too late to turn back and shift forces within the timeline. The government has invested billions upon billions in military support. Treaties are being signed between China and Russia “just in case” something happens. Tank missiles are continually being prepared for the ultimate war. 3 years ago, no one would have figured we would begin a war. Then early 2022 hit, and everyone was shocked with the fact that Russia had fired missiles at Ukraine. There had actually been long standing tension between the two countries for decades, but it finally came out and fired its first shot. Then in October 2023, Hamas decided to play its part in all of this by attacking Israel.

Meanwhile, other countries on the side, including America, are watching these little school children pick fights with one another and telling them to break it up. United Nations can be considered the school teachers who will try to step in when they can and break it up. America is playing its part by being the schoolground supervisor, protecting the little kids from hurting each other. “Hey, break it up!” America is shouting to Hamas while separating the big bully from the small child being wrestled and punched down on the ground. America is now trying to soothe and make sure the small child, we’ll call him Norman or Israel, comes out unhurt and unravaged. Meanwhile, the big bully Tom is being pushed away and defended against for any other serious wrongdoings that can come out of this. This is a scene that has caught all the schoolchildrens’ attention in the playground, they can’t help but witness this to see what happens next. It is like a WWF scene that everyone suddenly has been glued onto watching all too intently, and hyping up their own nerves and tension.

This sort of energy is only going to get bigger, as this is not just a fight between two individuals with a slight qualm with one another. As more people gather around, their own energies just watching this sort of upheaval brings out their own primate selves, I’m sure. And this is the state that our world is in today right now with the upcoming world war. It will happen, there just needs to be the right move in order for all hell to break loose.

What is this right move or trigger to release that shit button? Well, it can be a lot of things. But speaking as a soldier in Taiwan in my past life, I know that it always takes something very emotionally triggering in order to bring out that aggressive fighting side of oneself. I’ve seen it come out unexpectedly at times before in very dramatic, loud, gruesome ways that even surprise myself afterwards if I have the time to reflect back on things. It got to the point where I would break glass cups, smash windows, shout at the top of my lungs. It’s interesting the scenarios that led me to that point, but they all had one common factor-whatever that trigger was-it hurt me to the emotional core. It has to in order to bring out our primate selves, the wild tiger inside of ourselves. You just invaded my personal territory, my space? I will bring my claws out and hunt you down. The fighting mode comes on. It is inevitable. It is a part of ourselves. It makes up our bottom part of our bodies, the root, sacral, and solar plexus chakras. It’s the part of our animalistic selves that shows security, safety, and survival.

I’m sure the little kid Norman said something that was a bit mean, but hurt to the emotional core. Perhaps it was a remark about how that tight shirt made the bully Tom, who likes to tease everyone, even fatter. That hurt Tom. A lot. He’s very sensitive about his weight. He doesn’t like standing out from the rest of the school children by being a little bit more pudgy. Meanwhile, the world is going through the same scenario with this world war scenario. It is a more complex and planned system of preparing for when the real shit hits the fan, what, with nuclear missiles being fired left and right, and everyone joining in. Men have to fly in from other countries in suits in order to shake hands with leaders and sign allied treaty deals. Yet keep in mind, they still share the same emotional mentality and integrity as Norman and Tom in the playground.

I’m sure the other pairs of schoolchildren that have been going through the same bullying and teasing back and forth are waiting to show that part of themselves and release their fighting tensions as well. Dennis and Adam haven’t been getting along with each other that well either. Maybe this is the China and Taiwan pair. Let’s say Dennis or China is the schoolground supervisor’s favourite and puts on this people pleasing face in front of the schoolground supervisor. It chooses to not tell too much to the American schoolground supervisor about how it continually pesters Adam here and there. It doesn’t want to get in trouble. This dynamic already pre-exists between U.S and China. For good reason as well. China’s own economic system is overly dependent upon the U.S. This is with the manufacturing component and trade system with economics. It already produces 50 percent of the active pharmaceutical ingredients for U.S’ pharmaceutical companies. If America the schoolground supervisor found out about China’s constant teasing, it might force China to serve detention and ban its imports to America, for example.

While everyone stands around watching this schoolground fight, it can’t help but trigger and stir some emotions inside them as well. Before you know it, the whole group will start attacking each other, not just Norman and Tom. Dennis and Adam will show their primal sides. It won’t be a fight between boys another. Maria hasn’t been getting along with Laura. She makes fun of her ugly, curly red hair. Their sides will show. Groups and cliques will start attacking one another. It will be a fight amongst everyone. Much like that barfight that will start to tear the whole place down.

What will it take for World War III to begin in its clear sense? When will all the countries start to bring out that animalistic, aggressive side of themselves that throws away all ration, reason, inhibition, and complacency? There has to be some slight trigger that just touches at the emotional core and hurts so much in order to bring out those aggressive, energetic forces in oneself.

Nostradamus mentioned in one of his prophecies about world disaster that there could be a destruction of an old Asian monument of some sort sometime in late 2023 or early 2024. This could perhaps bring out that vital part of China that wants to show its own true ravaged self. When the Islamic terrorist group Al-Qaeda hijacked the World Trade Centre in NYC, this left a deafening toll on everyday Americans alike. Two thirds of Americans felt a connection to this, as though they lost a part of their own selves. Imagine if something like an historical Asian monument was destroyed? The combined forces of 1/8 of the world’s population would feel this deep in their hearts to no end. When you do something that will sting so much and leave such a mark on a nation as a whole, the combined energetic forces become all too much that everyone gets into that “fighting” mode that spreads like wildfire.

This is something to keep in mind when trying to decipher and depict what incident will pull the trigger. It won’t be the minor events that involve customs that complex political and military systems already play out on a daily basis. Sending out troops to prepare for war isn’t going to push the ultimate start button. Holding meetings and signing treaties are a part of the natural process of preparing for war. That is the natural flow of maintaining and upkeeping with fighting systems. We are currently setting up the right conditions for the fight. However, fights are what break systems down. That is what world war 3 is TRULY like. That is what FIGHTING is TRULY like.

I stopped watching video after video of the same minor detail that adds to building up more war tanks so that enough missiles can be fired when the time comes. I realized that when it will come, it will come. It’s almost as though that Luka part of myself, that part that likes to ‘prepare for the worst’ and sort of prepare and go through utmost military training has been released the past year or so. My Luka part of myself is also telling me intuitively that when the shit will hit the fan, the FUCKING SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN. When this happens, peace treaties will not do its part in rebuilding the system. It will be too late to, as the immediate destruction would be more within everyone’s grasp and reach. Everyday people will start hitting each other at the local grocery store and stealing. The civil wars will break out and massive sides will form. Because society and humankind can get complex with their political and economic systems, it is only doing its part by building the system and the armor now in order to fight with one another. It is the same as going through extensive military training, like every disciplined soldier knows and feels. The trigger has to be something that hurts so much emotionally. That is one piece of thankful wisdom that I gain from being a soldier in my most recent past life.

The kindred soul will know what it’s like to “ascend” and “be” Jesus after the second coming.

Men, I have a challenge for you. Stop shaving for a month. Stop using language in order to communicate with others. Walk around everywhere on all fours with a consistent infamous hunch. Then look at your own selves in the mirror. What do you see staring back at you? Your very own cousin. He exists in the wild territories of Africa just lounging around, looking for food and a hole to stick it into. It is carrying on its own daily duties of gathering food, hunting, going for the chase of a beautiful female counterpart to stick its dick into to create babies, and worrying about tending to its own little subcommunity that consists of a hierarchy that organizes the everyday life of his own family. It’s your own chimpanzee counterpart. It possesses a whopping 98.8 percent of your own human species’ DNA, and you have more in common with this animal than you think.

Sylvia Browne wrote a book called All Pets Go to Heaven to indicate that this whole realm and concept of spirituality, the whole process of it, does not ONLY involve HUMANS and jesus. According to her, pet animals such as dogs and cats cross over to the over side as well, only to be greeted by their other animal counterparts and friends, as well as owners. They don’t create complex systems including mass religions, or write scriptures upon scriptures of text as to how to govern earth’s ways on 3D earth. Nor do they reincarnate in groups over and over again to learn more about how people, places, and things operate here on this planet. Yet, they have feelings just like us. They know what it is like to have their owner leave them to go on vacation for 2 weeks. They know what it is like to not be fed their cat food for days because their owner couldn’t find it due to supply shortages at the local grocery supermarket. They know what it is like to part from that other male cat at the shelter and not get their number or contact once their owner picks them up.

Any energetic being that knows how to take one breath in, breathe one breath out, is a part of the continual cyclical process of spiritual enlightenment and transformation through their own unique journey. We are all a part of it, whether we want to be or not. It’s just a natural law at the end of the day. Be it plants, your pet dog Bernie, the sun, the moon, the air, or even that chimpanzee at the museum. Whatever is mother nature’s creation, and no, I’m not talking about those brand new manufactured Nike running shoes, is a part of the whole ecosystem of the natural universe. Humans weren’t the first and only ones to be a part of this spiritual process. Anything that has natural breath is a part of it, whether they want to be or not.

This natural process of this ecosystem can very well be related to the simplest action of taking a deep breath. This is why meditation is so crucial to the process of spirituality. Something goes in, and then something comes out. There is an expansion and contraction of something that is very personal for every individual being. Yet, this very own process does follow larger models that dictate where beings go, be it through expansion or contraction. This is where natural laws come into play. These are the natural laws of karma, perhaps. If you haven’t been a very nice human being in a particular lifetime, perhaps you’ll be punished by religion to become an animal of some sort, like a chimpanzee, because in this spiritual evolutionary hierarchy, these creatures are less happy than the more evolved creatures above it, including humans. Here is the contraction. At the end of the day, it permeates and appears as mother nature’s very own doing.

It doesn’t just stop with human beings though, as there is more to life than Jesus as well. Within the ultimate general model of timeline of life, the future does not stop with 5D heaven. Life can expand further with future implications, such as starseeds and aliens. They have already lived exponentially more lifetimes than humans and chimpanzees. They already know what it is like to be a dog. They already know what it is like to be a human. Now they are granted the peace and freedom to enjoy luxuries such as technological systems that can create such customs and conveniences that one can’t even fathom. They are not living in 100 BC, 5 AD, or this current year in the new millennial age. They are somewhere else in the future, in the mid millennial century and beyond, in a higher dimension beyond 5D heaven.

They were once chimpanzees though. They were once humans. They learned through reincarnations of lifetimes on various planes of existence in order to feel what it would be like to have a chimpanzee steal their branches that they have been collecting and gathering oh so dearly to prepare food on 3D earth. They know what it’s like to be one of the first humans to discover new villages to help systematize and celebrate gatherings with blood relatives on 3D earth. Fear, happiness, anger, sadness, disgust-all of these are experienced at different levels on different dimensions. All these experiences combined make it the most evolved soul type, starseeds, who have earned their spot there through their own expansion process with their own soul family’s counterparts.

You might wonder where we fall then, as human beings, within this timeline of the eternal “life”, and how we compare with other creatures and species. It’s interesting, because we are a unique creature that encapsulates both animalistic, primal instincts, as well as saintly energies. Think of a human as a chimpanzee with angel wings on its back. We can have very modest, loving, caring, selfless features to us, but don’t forget our “id” counterpart. We can be threatening, sexually induced, wild, aggressive. This makes up the lower part of our own selves, it makes up the bottom half of our 5 or 6 chakras. We share the same root, heart and sacral chakras as our chimpanzee cousin, we’ll call him Bob. He shares the same red, orange frequency range as us humans.

Chimpanzees’ souls haven’t necessarily captured the higher frequency ranges yet, yellow, green, blue or purple, but they will in due time. They already display human like traits and characteristics, such as empathy, respect for elders, a love for fun and play, compassion, and resourcefulness. It’s all manipulated within their certain immediate surroundings and environment, but it is applied in the same way as any soul who wants to learn more about the world would use it. They will evolve as souls in order to develop language systems, straighten up their spinal cord tendencies in order to finally feel what it’s like to be the first human species on this 5D earth. Bob’s soul will eventually know what it’s like to experience and be Jesus. The right circumstances will to be at play.

Bob’s soul will experience human experiences eventually. It won’t be long either. I’m suspecting it will be within the next few years or so, 2025. That’s when the second coming that everyone’s been worrying about and prophesizing over will hit us hard, and wipe out our human species’ physical bodies out altogether. In the news today, you already hear of such tragedies as floods and earthquakes within the range of 5.0 or more. Israel and Islam has already joined WW3 with Ukraine and Russia (and I’m sure China will join in too), I can’t even imagine what’s further ahead. Economic systems will collapse. Moreso, the second ultimate version of covid will do its final part to wipe out humanity altogether. This in itself is the human being’s karma for doing a bit too much to its own planet with pollution, climate change, industrialization practices, and more. This is where contraction comes into play again, as energy is being used to an extent that hurts its immediate surroundings in this type of environment.

Your own soul at this point in time, in your own human body, will take all this experience with it and learn from this experience. Through cyclical patterns of reincarnation, your own soul has learned and evolved enough on 3D earth, for sure. You’ve been through many generations before. It was first with Jesus and his hunter gatherer days. He happened to stumble upon others such as Adam and Eve in Eden. They didn’t have shaving utensils and shaving creams to spruce themselves up in order to make themselves look more presentable to the general public. The upcoming generations slowly involved the advancement of technological innovation, discovery of new lands, and a systematization of a much more populous human species, 8 billion at that. We’ve fought in wars, we’ve gone through periods of mass extinction with viral infections. With so much that has been created and used within this whole spectre of 2 millenniums, human beings’ souls have gained a lot of knowledge and advanced so much. This generation is slightly different and embodies a powerful shift. If you’ve lived hundreds of lifetimes before, and know what it’s like to be the first human being and last human being standing, then maybe you’ve done your part with this journey in these particular frequencies.

It’s time for your own soul to “expand” now, in and of itself, to something and somewhere else, perhaps 6D, 7D, 8D. A higher, more evolved dimension. It’s time for your soul to become a separate, more evolved species in the ultimate timeline of life. You have used up enough energy in your environment. Maybe you’ll become a starseed species in that nearby future card. Meanwhile, whatever soul group or family that is behind you in this ultimate journey, which includes our dear old cousin Bob’s soul, will fill your role as the human being and as the Jesus.

Chimpanzees know what it is like to take energy and use it as well. They haven’t done it to the extent that humans have, namely due to the fact that they aren’t as scientifically brilliant as humans. Don’t dismiss their capabilities and functionalities though. They are the closest primates to humans, extremely adept and intelligent in everyday matters. They still use their own systems to go about everyday life, such as tending to their patriarchy and reporting to their own boss who overlooks them. They operate in alpha male groups, forming cliques and groups that tend to one another, much like humans. They display their ability to develop and grow empathy with others in their surroundings as well. Chimpanzees can exhibit selfless behaviour, giving away food items without expecting anything back in return. Scientists already discovered a chimpanzee’s ability to understand and comprehend ASL language systems. This isn’t done with a suit and tie in a nuclear power plant, yet very much follows in line with how humans organize themselves with capitalistic tendencies in industrialized worlds.

Spiritual evolution has a timeline to it, and there are certain expectancies that fall upon us if we are on the right path. If they already share the same energetic frequencies as the bottom half of human species’ bodies, if they were to evolve more, I am sure they would begin to become a little bit more spiritual too and gain their wings as well.

These are all stepping blocks within the same framework in order to continually ascend. This happens over certain timelines, and with it, each soul will suddenly take on order, learn, and use more energy from their immediate environment and surroundings. When this happens, a soul becomes much more enriched, alive, powerful, and magnificent when they start to encompass and take on the experiences of another soul species. The creatures who take in the deepest breaths are also the ones that can let out the most energy as well. Starseeds take the deepest breath. Then comes the humans and other species. It’s time for the chimpanzees to take a deeper breath amongst this path of spiritual progression. Every soul has a chance to play their role in their lineup of acts one after the other, in the leading school play called School of Life and Transformation.

As an evolved soul who has gone through more than enough lifetimes, I am very familiar with how psychic messages can enter and leave ones own physical environment. It is something that can also permeate through your own feelings as well, since the spirits up there can guide and manipulate feeling, space, and time. This is an incredible source of power altogether, and can really guide one into manifesting and manipulating ones own path towards their own intended futures as well.

When it comes to someone like me who is claircognizant with a purple aura, I find these messages interesting. They aren’t as powerful as the true psychics who come with the full package of emotional verification and the sensual visual, auditory, olfactory, taste and touch to add to things. Yet, they can’t be discarded altogether. Being claircognizant has its own branding of just knowing certain things. It adds with it a sense of surety and confidence to other thoughts that surround our minds everyday. And boy, do we all have a lot of thoughts come in and out of our head.

One interesting topic that I have gotten more than enough psychic messages about is in relation to my own death. It’s interesting, but it’s almost as though my life theme sometimes is death, even though I know it’s not. It’s more so a topic that I think about here and there, but not in a completely suicidal way. It has started all the way back to when I was a child, just staring at my lifeline on my palm, wondering and worrying about the significance of that break on my lifeline on both hands. The break in a lifeline indicates transformation of some sort, but usually leads to when one will pass away. This is due to an unexpected accident or event. The further you go down your lifeline, the longer your life will be. In palmistry, psychics already map out and chart out which decades belong to where on the lifeline. My break in my lifeline is right down the middle, where my late 30s or early 40s would indicate. This concern of mine while looking at it was probably an indication of when and how I would die.

Over my lifespan, my lifeline would still come into my head as a focus of thought from time to time, but never as strongly as it held priority maybe as a child. As a child, you are more psychic than you are as a you grow into an adult. You don’t have the inhibitions that hold back certain beliefs and thoughts that we are told to have, as we shape and mold ourselves to become more held back adults with manners and social norms. Our frontal lobes in our brain are still developing. This is why children often have imaginary friends that they speak to in their bedrooms. They instinctively know things about others in this intuitive way that others wonder how they would come about even acknowledging these things.

It hasn’t been until covid 19 hit since 2020 that I finally came to really wonder and think about death again in a serious manner. My intuition kicked in, and I realized that this was the end of it for all of us. Death. Sylvia Browne had made this prediction in her book End of Days that in 2020, everyone would be hit with a pneumatic respiratory disease that would come just as easily as it went, changing the world population’s DNA first, and then hit us all with the second version of some other vicious uncontrolled virus years later, that would kill us all. This is something that makes sense, that death would end humanity altogether eventually, since there have been too many prophecies about end of days to begin with. Psychics can fill up full books about this very subject.

I didn’t necessarily recognize that I would go out soon until I got a few signs from my spirits from the other side. This includes my angels from the other side, one of whom involves my best friend Elissa, who became an earth angel here on earth a few years back but committed suicide due to becoming overwhelmed with all of the psychic powers that become thrusted upon her. In the suicidal unit, I had mentioned to her glumly, “If you kill yourself, I’ll kill my own self,” questioning my own presence here on earth as well. She is up there now, working on sending messages up in heaven and helps me here and there with a few things.

Death is even a topic I’m given strong signs about. I listen to them and communicate with spirits up there in terms of how I should go about understanding my own pathway to this event. It’s not an easy one to follow, but I’ve evolved well enough to understand certain features about what death brings, and how to look at this matter.

For one, I know I will die just like everyone else. There are many things that can cause death, and it is written into everyone’s soul contracts. Your soul contract includes such things as your life theme, lessons, important friends, enemies in your life, even how you will end up passing away sometimes.

With this particular soul contract, it was written that I would go out when I caught the first instance of covid. This makes sense, given that I am a lightworker who has spent more than enough time up “there”, and am making this visit down “here”, aka earth, in this lifetime in order to teach people love and peace. It has been a while since I’ve experienced that 3.0 version of me the last time I lived on earth as a soul, but I was here alright.

It is my mission to teach love down here, with a bit more wisdom, knowledge, and intuition than a lot of people. I know in my heart that I didn’t necessarily want to come back here, but I am here again. In order to sort of compensate, my guides, superiors, angels, and higher guide spirits have given me the opportunity to do my job, teach love, and then leave when I caught my first case of covid. I certainly wouldn’t want to go during the second uncontrollable virus to come upon humanity, killing everyone in sight left and right. The conditions would be unbearable on all fronts. Everyone will act like primates, eating each other up and hitting one another.

This instinct didn’t even necessarily kick in, that I was meant to leave after my first version of covid, until after I caught it. I caught it in March while I hung out with my friend. He had an epileptic issue that was uncontrolled. He even experienced a coma and near-death experience before from a seizure. I have uncontrolled epilepsy myself. I get epileptic seizures usually related to my menstrual cycle. I have never experienced a coma yet, although I know it is possible to die from a seizure. My assumption is that this is how I’ll most likely die anyway. This is the unexpected accident that is marked on my lifeline that will lead to death.

He realized he caught covid when he started having even more seizures than usual that week. My symptoms were different, as I experienced a massive headache, and started coughing and spitting out saliva involving some black liquid. My spirits showed me a YouTube clip titled “Lena’s Story” briefly one day while I was browsing through my android phone. I mindlessly and casually pieced that this could have indicated something pertaining to my death and carried on with my day.

Interestingly enough, I know that my spirits and guides were catering and adapting my own planned death in my soul contract and applying it to my own unique circumstances at this time in my life. Although it was written that I would die when I caught the first version of covid, they decided to stretch it out a bit to fit with my current situation in life at the moment. Spirits and guides can do this, as soul contracts are not explicitly written to every fine detail and time, but generalized to include a few instances of events that can fall upon your life here and there. As long as everything falls into the guidelines of your main themes, lessons, who you will come across, and what you will become, you will be okay.

I myself have adapted to my physical environment and social surroundings in ways to prepare for an easy death. My main theme has been minimalism, and leaving as little suspense and cliff hangers for my family and friends if my death were to come about (which it obviously inevitably will). I remember discussing with a friend over coffee that I wouldn’t want to die and leave my clients in my tutoring business hanging, since I am literally conducting my own one woman tutoring business. I have managed to have at most 2 or 3 clients at a given time, and I do most of the tutoring myself. “If I died, who would my client contact?” I wondered. To adapt to this, my angels executed the proper scenario to help evade this issue. I would die when I finally finished the tutoring school year with my one and only client. I am currently only tutoring one client, and I am the one performing all of the behind the scenes work in administration for this business.

I had received my psychic message that this was the case when I received a few signs that I should hold off from hiring another tutor during the end of April. I had just finished a call with my computer programmer as we discussed his role in creating a maintenance update for my tutoring module that allowed me to store data related to my tutoring administration. For some reason, the module for me to add new tutors to my database was removed. I hadn’t realized that that in itself was another sign from my spirits and guides to hold off on hiring more tutors. My business email had repeated a potential client lead email for me-this time, in my spam folder. That was another sign from my angels.

Another interesting way my spirits and guides have communicated with me about my upcoming future in heaven was with how they hinted at my future upcoming role as an angel. You see, my best friend Elissa was training to become an angel in her exact lifetime this generation. She had to save a life in order to gain her wings to become an earth angel down here and guide humanity towards more love and peace with her psychical powers. I myself was accorded the role as a lightworker. I probably was an old soul who lived too many lives to begin with here, and I was on my mission to help humanity learn more love and peace in my usual, less blatant ways of course-by teaching love.

Yet, over time, I had apparently helped a few men in this generation with sexual healing in particular. I’ve helped 3 men with sexual issues in this lifetime in order to accord my role as an angel: one with sexual addiction, one with erectile dysfunction, and one with delayed ejaculation issues. I inadvertently ended up gaining the role as an angel of some sort here too, seeing my duties that I have done in this lifetime. She sent me this email from the company Dicks that was spam that was labelled with the subject line “congrats mslenachou”. She happened to send it 3 times to indicate the 3 men I had to help in order to gain my new angel role up there with her.

One final psychic message that was indicated to verify all of this, was with the fact that I thought in my head and communicated with my spirits and guides that if I was wrong with all of my assumptions about my death- if it wasn’t closely after me finishing my tutoring term with my only client, then to send me a message in my email inbox with the subject line from any business promotion that included some type of liner like “life goes on”, “we have more than enough to live for”, “life persists fully for everyone”. Instead, I got a spam email from a promotion company that stated in its subject line as important for mslenachou to “harbor fright” instead. They were communicating with me that I am on the right path, and my intuitions and assumptions about death are on track.

All of these signs and messages are unique in themselves, and it is really up to one’s own self to interpret these how they would like. Although, these psychic messages do have a specific intent and message behind them. These messages are sent by our spirit guides, our guardian angels, our father who passed away, or demons. Piece together each of these one by one to create your own storyline or guide. It can be a roadmap to help you along with your own soul contract.

Before we complete another lifetime on earth with new lessons, new life themes, and more, we are provided with certain guidelines as to what will happen. These guidelines can dictate when you’ll die, when you’ll meet your soul family member, when you’ll get into that fateful accident and more. It’s up to your spirit guide to make sure things go according to plan, although free will is never taken away. You always have the free will to kill yourself, murder someone else, or not get into a destined relationship with someone to garner up your lessons.

It’s interesting, but I know for one that I have been way too conscious in this lifetime. There have been certain powerful instinctual intuitions that I’ve carried over into this lifetime. It’s a natural tendency for one to carry over these overlaps in powerful emotions and see it carry itself through in tiny ways. It gives you ways to hone in on the clues that your instincts are telling you, as these feelings become very encompassing at times in your current lifetime. You don’t know where they come from necessarily, but there is a strong path for you to listen to them and see where it takes you.

I know that before I reincarnated, I probably was given general guidelines as to my life lessons, themes, and even my death. I can’t help but think that I was almost preparing myself for this lifetime, as I wanted things to go the way things were planned and properly. It’s also sometimes easier to have something to follow, and for me, a lot of this was with future guidelines in things like astrology and palmistry. I probably planned out my death. Prior to the reincarnation, I had no idea how it would come about, as these life plans aren’t explicitly stated and scientifically noted. God doesn’t write 10 page scientific papers about your soul contract. Things aren’t provided in such detailed and very structured ways whereby you know the exact time, place, setting you’ll get into that car crash. Who will be the perpetrator of this crash? What street intersection will you be at during that accident? What time will the accident occur? These tiny details will be left undecided.

Clues as to how my soul has been given intuitive guidelines has been with my obsession with my break in my lifeline on my palm. The lifeline on your palm is the third curved line closest to your thumb. Some psychics use it to discern how long you’ll live. If you have a short one, you will live a short life. If you have a long one, it will be a long one. I myself actually have a break in my lifeline. A break usually indicates a huge transition in ones lifetime. Something major could happen. A major accident. Death. I would stare at my palm and look at it in concern for no apparent reason, yet the views of the break always triggered this sense of worry. I tried to discern what my astrological houses meant, what a current transit was going to bring about. Would there be that current transit that would indicate my planned death? How could planets point to death?

In this lifetime, I haven’t necessarily even been too afraid of death. I am aware that there is more out there, that beings don’t just disappear when their physical bodies stop working. It has shown through the ways I’ve reacted to situations. It’s almost as though I’m awaiting my time on that other side in anticipation of it, which is a rarity in itself.

I remember hearing about Elissa’s death, which occurred a year after Justin’s death. Something in me told me to not place too much of a negative emphasis on this, as she continues on. My friends came to me and consoled me over this matter, as it is not easy losing a friend to suicide. I intuitively knew she was on the other side, and probably watching over me from time to time. This helped me understand that there wasn’t necessarily an end to anything. Being somewhat claircognizant, I realized it was easier to let this event be and allow things to have taken its course. It’s because I had a completely different perspective of this than how the usual person would have reacted to death.

I also have always pondered when my own time would be like, as though it was something to be awaited and looked forward towards. This feeling has always clung onto me throughout my entire life. Now I realize that it’s because I am a lightworker who is just a bit more cognizant of how things are played out in all of this. It’s almost as though death is an event I should anticipate and be happy about, since I know the other side, the 5D side, brings a lot of joy and happiness. I even remember reading a passage from Doreen Virtue’s book about Lightworkers that stated that some lightworkers were prone to killing themselves here on 3D earth because they couldn’t stand the climate. I can relate to that feeling of not being able to adjust myself all too well. I want to be somewhere else alright.

I used to worry about building a life for myself in my mid 40s and onwards, but now I realize that priorities have changed. For one, the end of days for the human species as a whole is due in sometime. I no longer worry about finding the one to settle down with and start a family with, as I need to rearrange how to adapt to my social environment now. I have been getting seizures every few weeks related to my menstrual cycle, and I can’t help but think that this is something that is preparing me for what is upcoming. Maybe it ties in with my break in my lifeline on my palm. Maybe that’s how I’ll go out, with a large seizure.

These instinctive cues just seemed to add up over time, and I’m sure I will continue to get more hints as to what’s in store for me. I’m glad that I defy the stereotypical norm of how death should be looked upon though, as there has always been this implicit understanding in me that there’s definitely more out there.

This is also a perfect example of how energy can be transmuted. I’ve probably reincarnated way too many times to count and am fully aware that there is nothing to be afraid of at all with death. Death doesn’t necessarily occur because I’ll be somewhere. My own soul and parts of my energy will travel elsewhere and be in another realm, but maybe that isn’t a bad thing at all. This is an understanding that most people find hard to grasp, but you have to be an immensely old soul to finally grapple with this instinct, and that implicit understanding of the life cycle and how things don’t get destroyed, but more so recycled, really helps you put things into perspective and take in tragic events like all of this.

This is a topic that I hear a lot of people talk about in different channels. Be it Aaron Doughty stating that you just have to “imagine” yourself in this “parallel reality” in order to “become” that all knowing and well suited lottery winner. It’s as though you already were one. You don’t question the need or want to even become one. That stage does not even exist in this type of framing in order to actually BE the lottery winner.

Technically, winning the lottery is possible with time and space manipulation. However, it isn’t as simple as just imagining this. There has to be some energetic force that actually pushes and reveres one to actually physically be in a state to manipulate the rolling balls per se in a lottery machine in order to make it land within the numbers that you imagine in your mind. A lot of people state that you can just use your birthday numbers or some numbers with special emotional meaning tied to you, in order to get the ball rolling with this and see the physical manifestation of this altogether in that lottery station that pushes out the balls in a lottery machine.

This energetic force in itself has to also come from some actual spirit force to move the balls for you. You yourself are not standing right next to the lottery machine. Your spirit can’t detach too much in order to do the job for you. Your own soul is still attached to your physical body and living, and isn’t too detached on meth or LSD to sort of astral project this kind of endeavor. It’s probably going to be your dead aunt who oversees you or your guardian angel or spirit guide. That’s if they want to do the job for you.

I considered the fact that maybe Elissa could perform this trick the minute she felt wings on her back as an earth angel. “Hey, maybe you can also use your powers to win the lottery!” I giggled as I thought about all the supernatural powers that just came upon her. This would be something that I would have found would have provided that interesting and very helpful incidence that she could literally bring upon into fruition. “I can sense abundance,” she told me. She usually felt this feeling in her stomach when she came upon a rich man who made lots of money. It was some feeling that she would always receive that was a psychic intuition about something.

I know that I could probably use some money after everything I’ve gone through over the years. This is because I have inevitably fallen into some sort of money hole several times in my life over the past half decade. I have actually been scammed before by an Indian company that used fraud to pose as the police and got me to provide them with a few grand as a result of not doing my taxes for the previous year. I’ve signed up for online trials that have sneakily trapped me into subscriptions that I couldn’t get out of and inevitably sourced out 30 dollars from my bank account each month. Let’s not forget about the ghost that has clung onto my body for the past half decade and stolen my bank cards and robbed me hundreds at a time every few months.

It’s a vicious cycle that I can’t seem to get rid of, since it has played tricks on me even when it left my body, placing hexes on me from up “there” as well to take half a grand every 4 months. I was so worried when I saw this cycle come about the minute I witnessed another unauthorized transaction in my Scotiabank account. I had to close down my TD accounts altogether because of what it did when it clung onto me. It started with a few transactions of $3 wings from KFC. Then it escalated into taking away my mother’s 500 dollar cash bundles in my lucky money envelopes from time to time. Then it was my presto card. When I visited a psychic at Jane and Sheppard to try to remove this entity from my body, I thought that was the end of it. Apparently, it wasn’t.

Ghosts can always come back from up there, heaven, and play tricks on others down in the 3D plane as well. They have the power to manipulate space and time now and will do things like make objects move or send you a text message. I found that it had robbed me yet again that fateful day I found half a grand taken from my bank account when I couldn’t find my bank card in my wallet as I tried to check out my groceries at Freshco that day. Thankfully, the card returned to me a day later from an angel.

“A hex was placed on you,” Hindu psychic mentioned as he rattled his stones to find out what was behind this mischief. “Whhaaat? I thought it left my body!!!” I responded in shock and horror. “Shhhh! Be quiet! There are spirits around you,” he answered, as I was apparently disrupting the peace and quiet of the atmosphere. To make matters worse, he told me that the spirit liked me, and that it would continue to do this in the future. Great. I can expect half a grand taken from my bank account every 4 months now.

In my dreams I tried to resolve this issue by summing up well known earth angel, Doreen Virtue, and her spirit. I met her for the first time in my dream on the TTC subway train. Someone else was calling for her attention at that moment in time, and she felt a tug of war tension between tending to either me or her. When I met her again in another dream sequence, she recognized me and said, “Nice to see you again. Whitney?” She must of confused me with someone else, and I said, “No, Lena.” I brought up the issue with the ghost robber, and she replied, “Well, he’s not attached to you anymore.”

It wasn’t until I found a message from an angel the next day that I felt more relieved. There was a text message that stated, “return issued–>” in my cell phone. This cell phone was placed right next to that stolen Scotiabank card that I had miraculously found a day later returned to me. It was pointing to the card. I followed the magical instructions to return this card and cancel the account altogether, and transfer the funds to another bank account. This was what I needed to do in order to break that hex or black magic spell on me.

I visited a psychic the next day to get my questions answered as well. She told me that angels were overseeing me on this as she placed a tarot card of an angel on the table. “I see good signs with this,” she mentioned. Okay, that’s good to hear. It’s not like I haven’t gone through enough turmoil with all of this.

With the help of all that, I can’t help but wonder whether a fellow angel could manipulate space and time to help me garner up a few million dollars and help me win the lottery. I have thought about it, although it’s really not something that has been placed upon me with too much urgency or need. My angels also repeat bank transaction credits into my new CIBC account whenever I am at a place of low funding, I realized.

Just recently, there was a transfer of 400.38 onto my account. It adds up my total amount of money. That’s what gives me the security. I have always lived off of a budget of 2 grand every month, and it has stayed and remained this way for the past 10 years. I still shop at Dollar Tree and Frescho every month. I never eat out. I never buy new expensive clothing. I use products until they are worn and torn before I replace them. It was somewhat doable even with the ghost robberies.

It’s not like I haven’t gone through ups and downs with this. I’m too old of a soul to really give into the built-up illusion that money can buy happiness on a linear path that just rises and rises with the rate of satisfaction. Money does buy security and comfort and free will, but the effect does taper off after a point though. More so, I think I’m a bit too evolved and conscientious to really ask for large sums of money. I know that I have to hold back on spending too much and wasting too much. When you’ve gone through enough lifetimes and are very aware of how your actions and requests are affecting others, including angels and ghosts up there.

I watched an interesting youtube clip recently, with a psychic mentioning what she saw when she looked into the Akashic Records to see where Donald Trump’s roots stemmed from. Apparently, Donald Trump is an angel that was brought down to earth in order to lift humanity’s consciousness in some way by being this ignorant, egoic, non conformist character who forgot its role up there in heaven.

“I’m laughing because there were a group of angels who all gathered together to discuss who would take on this role for the upcoming lifetime, and all of them were like, ‘oh no, I don’t want to do it!’ shaking their heads.” And yet, one of these souls agreed to the part when they signed their next soul contract for their upcoming incarnation. I can at least give him an Oscar for playing the best leading asshole role in his own show. When you express yourself this well, in your actions and behaviors that you become one with it and stay true to that.

He is oddly raising consciousness for humanity in a way alright. Something that I actually give this soul for credit for is the fact that it plays its role very well, and that does keep it healthy in whatever plane it currently is situated in. Kudos to you for staying grounded and remaining true to who you are.

A sense of self, confidence, and pride in who you are is essential in order to be a healthy person. The thing that makes this difficult is the fact that there can be so many damn layers to a person and so many energies that one soul has to work with. These energies make up who you are as a soul, going through your own particular journey in space and time with a soul contract and life lessons and themes. You are made up of a collection of experiences, conscious and subconscious, current life, future life, and past life. This is why human beings are too complex to even begin with. One human being can actually start to hate their inner self or hide it and contort it in some manner in order to present themselves in a certain light to social situations and peers.

I know that I have an issue with hiding inner parts of my own self. I feel ashamed of who I am at times, yet I know the moods and feelings are still present and get triggered in the proper situations. As an introvert, I have very good ways of hiding parts of myself, yet you can’t deny that these parts still exist in some shape or form. With social media these days, one can even hide themselves behind a chat screen and contort themselves according to an emoji just to show they care about a liner that an acquaintance had typed up, yet it might be a tactic just to escape and shorten an instant messaging conversation altogether. These facades almost become sort of routinized in a way, yet at the end of the day, subconscious feelings, traumas, and energies still exist. The healthy thing to do is release these feelings and energies, express them in proper healthy ways.

Working properly with energy is not necessarily easy. I have conflicting parts of myself that show up as yin and yang at times. One thing I can tell you is that I encompass the role of both an overly conscious, caring, endearing lightworker and an 18th century aggressive, tough, defensive, guarded soldier. Interestingly enough, the soldier is my most recent past life, whereas the lightworker is my future self that awaits too at the same time. With all that being said, I am also a being that is also trying to create another being’s experiences right now in the present lifetime with my most recent incarnation, Lena. With all that going on, where is my sense of self then? I am too fixated on the past and future being, my whole life theme has been trying to even curate a proper sense of self in my current lifetime, the here and now.

As a lightworker, I was brought down to earth in this generation to teach love. It is especially needed and apparent as humanity “ascends to the 5th dimension”. What this entails is that there is a lot of unnecessary chaos brewing with the human species and how they are treating one another and their very ecosystem. Humans are much more unkind to one another than ever before, ever since the population has exponentially grown within the past century. More acts of this are seen through war, polluting the planet, acts of racism and hate towards one another, crime, to an impact that is starting to see its effects manifest in very negative lights. I can attest to that with the covid 19 virus outbreaks, the recent war that has broken out between Russia and Ukraine, and upcoming climate change concerns. I am sure there is more to come, since karma and homeostasis always takes its form with reshaping how natural beings should healthily interact with one another. It takes a toll on my heart sometimes to see society crumble bit by bit in these ways, and these emotions take a part in my own belief systems and very own thought systems as well.

I know I am a lightworker due to certain clues in my very own moods and thought systems. My wariness of human nature and our current state is one of them. As a child, I had an unhealthy obsession that everything would result in bad karma for me. Other indications are interesting, but they do give the hints at who I “am” up “there” in a future sense.

For one, I came into this lifetime addicted to new age practices such as astrology and palmistry. I wondered when my next transit would be, and whether it would be healthy or scary for me. I always wondered what a peer’s birthday was so that I could look up their astrological chart and our synastry charts. This was to help me cope with my current lifetime in the here and now, since astrology can predict the future, but in a very vague sense. You can’t apply a moon’s effects on why you got a C plus on that paper or why you decided to choose to eat the banana bread instead of the bagel, for instance.

I treated this as though it was some belief system I had to adhere to, much like every scrutinized line from the bible. This was a fascination of mine that I hid from a lot of people, but I thought about how this dictated my life. It was probably an indication of some part or form of me that was anxious about something. The future and what it entailed. The largest indicator mood wise though, was that I wasn’t happy here in the present moment, as Lena, living out her current existing life in 3D form. I wanted to be somewhere “else”.

My existing thoughts as a lightworker that I’ve held throughout this current life come to mind:

“I am scared of what this sun square uranus entails in my chart” (started developing this fear during preteen years when I started studying this subject)

“I wonder what that break in my lifeline is going to entail for me. Death? Spiritual energy shift? Physical accident?” (as I started comparing my hands with others)

“It’s going to be the cell phones that will end humanity due to the massive consumption with the global population of this. Eventual brain cancer will knock the human species out.”(started thinking this in my 20s, but now my assumptions have shifted to whatever the this current decade brings about).

“I don’t want to be here. I just want to count up my good karma points and then be done. Life in this lifetime feels all too familiar but much more dreadful. I’ve gone through some sort of cycle before like this, and I don’t like it. I am just a little bit too wise and act like a mini grown up amongst a lot of my peers.”(felt this my whole entire life).

These are just my “lightworker” beliefs and thoughts and moods. Let’s not forget my recent past life moods and thoughts as well.

I am a Taiwanese solder from the 18th century named Luka. I had a psychic mention this to me when he contacted Archangel Michael to see what was behind my prevailing anxiety issues I’ve had my whole life.

I feel both the physical effects and psychological effects from complex post traumatic disorder from a past life in ways that can trigger memories of warfare. All throughout my life, I wondered whether I had OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, and what not. This anxious part of me plays its parts especially in work related situations. I remember having panic attacks after work situations that were especially prevalent the first 5 years after I was even legally able to work at the age of 16. The panic attacks at KFC, my very first job, were very strenuous. I would come home after every shift with my muscles tensed up and strained. I wasn’t able to concentrate, and my mind would fall into this fog. This effect would last for about a few hours before I could mentally bring myself back to my usual sharp levels again. I had this unexplained fear of the “real world” that began brewing during my late teens, as I wondered how I would make it out in this tough environment when I moved out of my parent’s place and became a grown adult. I related that to finally heading for combat and engaging in my fights with others after military training.

I have this side of myself that likes to maintain routines and follow orders strictly, and if I don’t, then all chaos will ensue. Military men have to follow orders and adhere to them or else, at all times. It pertains to even the most scrutinized smallest tasks. I always keep my guard up in front of others, and I value my privacy above all else. I don’t trust anyone really, because I am wary that one will come into my life to sabotage me in some way. Is my life on my line? I subconsciously relay this to the simplest decisions in my life and become overly critical. I can’t help but think this is due to what my own soul is so used to in my previous life, whereby I was placed in a completely different environment. I was fighting for warfare for fuck’s sake, and now, I’m here in this lifetime trying to make it out as a cute, innocent asian female in a well developed North American country?

I have this side of my character that can get very riled up and angry if I get triggered the right way too. I’m fully aware of this psychological tendency of mine, as my chest gets this instinct intuitive hurt feeling every time someone may piss me off in some way. I feel it and then I try to tame that beast that is inside of me as well, although I know that the energy is still there. The energy is still being possessed, by me, of all people. The suppression is like covering a blanket over a crying baby and trying to ignore it by walking out of a nursery. Or maybe trying to place a mute button while on my favourite pop music song that needs to be played and heard. The urges and feelings still exist. I’ve become very good at hiding this part of myself a lot, which is why my number one fear is making others angry, I try to avoid conflict in others. I act like a geisha around others, despite all that is brewing inside me at times.

My thoughts and beliefs related to Luka include:

“Oh no, please separate the red peppers from the green peppers and place them in separate bags next time so I don’t upset a cashier at Freshco again. ” (Just last week as I felt the knot in my stomach form after a grumpy middle-aged cashier made her snide remark at me and separated the items to price them out differently)

“I need to line up all my shoes in an orderly, proper way. All my clothes have to be folded properly. OR ELSE” (neat freak part of me since childhood)

“I can’t run into my former work colleagues from the store I quit again. Running into them would bring out unbearable circumstances. I must head to the other Dollar Tree store blocks away.” (Years back after I had that contemptuous fight with my manager and coworker).

“I am afraid of being of being 5 min late to that planned appointment and meeting. I will face the deathly consequences that will bring out.” (Felt this my whole life).

“I want to smash some objects because I have this inner rage in me that just needs to be released. I am trying to contain this pet tiger that does exist within me that I don’t want others to see.” (Felt this my whole life).

The lightworker and the soldier part of myself makes me who I am, as an integrated, whole, complex being. Some beliefs and thoughts that rummage through my head as both:

“My skin will catch on fire if I use lighter to attempt to sage my apartment” (couldn’t use my newly bought lighter from the convenience store for hours due to this).

“I must follow spiritual and psychic predictions as mentioned, including the tarot card reading about me having a blessed child in my mid age.” (after a simple card reading from a psychic with vague future predictions).

“If a soul doesn’t enter into my life as mentioned this winter, things will not go according to plan with my soul contract. This is unfair and undelegated.

People are complex beings with many sides to who they are. What makes it even more insane and hard to figure others out is you can easily hide behind a veil of who you choose to present yourself as, who you choose to be, a mask you can wear. We are human beings with enough control and inhibition and choice to reveal our true selves with our true intentions, or simply not show these parts of ourselves.

I hated my previous life Luka, and I was always too shy to really show that esoteric side, spiritual self that wanted to save our planet from the ravage that we would go through in the coming generation as an Indigo child, who just wanted all the bastards around me to just practice “love” and preach what it’s like “up there”, filled with love. All the meantime, I am building new memories as a new being now, in this lifetime, with more feelings and experiences to mold me to become even more difficult to figure out. Our true selves can become so suppressed that it inevitably comes out and bursts out during a psychotic episode, a drunken episode, or perhaps a really therapeutic meth trip.

How should we work with who the fuck we “are”, all at once, with the many sides to our complex characters? For one, never deny who you are. The good, the bad, the ugly. Accept that all these facets to yourself exist, because they do, in one shape or form. Learn to work with it in a way to express these parts of yourself in a healthy way. If there are beliefs and thoughts to yourself that you are unhappy with, learn to really go deep and analyze where your thoughts and feelings come from, most likely trauma from a past experience.

The conscious acknowledgement of all of this will release the thoughts that just repeat themselves, over and over. Your personality is moldable. This is because energy can be released from yourself as well. Energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can be transmuted in some way or expressed or released. People carry beliefs and thoughts that are almost programmed to run through one’s head over and over again, and this is why one can be very predictable in how they behave given the right environment and the circumstances.

Crack any of your friend’s head open and examine their thoughts and beliefs. You’d be surprised with all that is swarming inside that physical brain of theirs. It’s amazing how he or she can hide so much, to even their own loved ones. If you instant message one and he or she replies that they are ‘doing well’, that is never fully the case. They can also play the game and show several sides of themselves: the salesman side of their own self at work, or the unassuming subservient side of themselves in romantic relationships. We choose who we want to present ourselves as, but we can’t change what energies we possess. They make up our own thoughts and feelings. Examine them carefully and work with how you want to slowly change your feelings to create your thoughts in the first place. It takes a lot of conscious work to do this, but it is possible.